Call Me Bella
by Gotbooks93
Summary: AU story. The Denali coven goes to Forks to get to know Bella while Edward is gone. After Eclipse, before Breaking Dawn. Throw in some Emmett and Alice insanity and you have a recipe for hilarity! Fluffy goodness! Rated T, just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Hi guys

**Call Me Bella, by gotbooks93**

**Author's Note: Hi guys. This is my first fan fiction. Here's a summary:**

**AU story. The Denali coven goes to Forks to get to know Bella while Edward is gone. After Eclipse, before Breaking Dawn. Throw in some Emmett and Alice insanity and you have a recipe for hilarity! Fluffy goodness!**

**I wrote this a while ago, but when Breaking Dawn came out, everything was wrong, so I had to change it…**

**Disclaimer: I own lots of stuff! Just not the Twilight books. Sob**

Chapter 1- Unsurprising Surprises and Musical Torture

**BPOV**

Someone was poking me in the neck.

As I slid one groggy eye open, I was met with a chipper "Oh good! You're up!" A pixy sat on the bed next to me, looking gorgeous and innocent. Too innocent. Her tone was surprised, as if it was a delightful coincidence we happened to be in the same room, at the same time, in the same _bed_. As if she wasn't the one jabbing me in the jugular.

"How was your sleep?" she asked, still polite, despite my murderous gaze.

"Great, before you got here. Now Alice," I said, my voice tired. "Can you please explain to me why you are in my room at," I paused to take a look at my bedside clock, "six thirty in the morning?"

"Well I thought you would want to know we're expecting an unexpected visit today." I must have looked confused, because when she continued, the voice was slower, as if talking to a dim-witted child… or Jessica Stanley. "The Denali family is coming down for a surprise visit today," she paused looking thoughtful. "Of course, it's not really a surprise if I have a vision of it. To their credit, though, they _did_ try to hide it." She smiled sweetly.

She had my attention now. "_What_?" I sat bolt upright, not making any effort to keep my voice down.

Charlie had left to Seattle for a police training conference yesterday, and wouldn't be back for a few days. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one that was out of town. Edward had gone on a hunting trip with Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle, and wouldn't be back until tomorrow morning. An eternity.

"Why the heck are they coming _now_?" I asked, biting my lip.

"My guess? They wanted to see the beautiful blushing bride without the groom's interference." She grinned, knowing I hated to think of Edward and me as _bride and groom_ "I happen to know Edward wanted to be with you when you finally met the infamous Denali sisters."

I gulped. I didn't know much about the Denali sisters, but what I _did_ know wasn't good. Tanya, the eldest and leader of the coven, was a strawberry blonde vampire who made her interests known to Edward. Although he had declined her offer and told me he 'preferred brunettes' I was still worried. How was I, human and plain, supposed to compete with a gorgeous vampire like her?

"So…what do we do now?" I asked, hoping Alice had a plan. My grumpiness was now gone, replaced by nervousness and anticipation.

"Now," Alice said grandly, putting one finger in the air, "we go to the Alice Mobile!" and with that, she scooped me up, and ran me downstairs. Apparently the fact that I hadn't showered, eaten, or dressed didn't matter. We were outside my house, the door locked, and ready in a matter of seconds.

The weather was very pleasant, at about eighty degrees, a rarity for Forks. Dark clouds covered the sky, but it wasn't raining…yet. Alice set me down next to her stupidly expensive _Porsche 911 Turbo_, and zipped around to the driver's side. Of course, kidnapping your brother's significant other came with a price. Alice's price, apparently, was a nice car. I was pulled from my thoughts of holding people hostage as the window went down, and Alice ordered me inside the car.

As soon as my seatbelt was fastened, we were speeding down the street. I reached over and turned on the music. To my amusement, Smash Mouth's 'Sister Psychic' came blaring through the speakers.

_Sister Psychic won't you tell me _

_Does it ever get better? _

_Can you really see the future? _

_Or just predict the weather _

_Are we in our finest hour or _

_Headed for disaster_

_Use your super powers _

_And rescue me…_

I looked at Alice, who was happily singing along to the song. She caught my gaze, and turned down the music for a second, and said "It's my theme song." Before turning it back up. So as we made our way to the big white house in the woods, we listened to Alice's music. After 'Sister Psychic' 'Material Girl' came on, causing me to cringe and Alice to squeal in delight. She sang along to that one, too, her perfect voice weaving in and out of the lyrics.

_Living in a material world_

_and I am a material girl  
you know that we are living in a material world  
and I am a material girl_

The song finally ended and I sighed in relief, at least until the next song came on.

_I want fabulous,  
That is my simple request,  
All things fabulous,  
Bigger and better and best,  
I need something inspiring to help me get along,  
I need a little fabulous is that so wrong?_

I desperately looked for the turn off to the house, eager to escape 'Fabulous' from High School Musical as Alice danced in her seat. There it was! Alice drove up to the house, and I jumped out of the car, and promptly tripped. It was a wonder my klutziness hadn't caught up with me so far, and of course it wasn't enough for me to fall flat on my face. Emmett burst from the front door, shaking the widows as his laughter boomed from his mouth. I looked up from the ground to see Emmett holding up a large white piece of cardboard, with a **9** printed on the front. Jasper wandered lazily out behind him, holding an **8** on his piece of cardboard. It took me a minute to figure it out. Then it hit me. They were _scoring_ my clumsiness!

"Your overall performance was quite good, but your dismount didn't meet expectations." Emmett said in a snobby voice. He desperately pressed his lips together, trying to hold in his laughter, before dissolving into mirth again.

It seemed his laughter was contagious, because Jasper started laughing too, taking Alice and I along for the ride. Alice burst into giggles, and as I picked myself up, I started laughing, too. Jasper's chuckles became more pronounced, and Emmett dropped to the ground, rolling in the dirt as he clutched his sides. Alice's eyes widened as we both were overcome with laughter. This was getting out of hand. I gasped for air and it was a good thing Emmett didn't need to breathe because he didn't seem to be able to.

"Jazz! Calm down please!" she pleaded with him between her hyperactive giggles.

Jasper quickly concentrated on lowering his amusement, and the aching in my sides subsided. Emmett gasped for breath on the ground before gracefully– if someone his size could be graceful- jumping back up. Jasper smiled apologetically at me. I smiled back.

Emmett chuckled again. "Bella, you are too dang funny for your own good. Now, are we having a sleepover?" he glanced down at my bedtime attire. I blushed before turning to Alice and raising my eyebrows.

"Bella you know I'm doing this to get you ready for the Denali girls, right? It's for your own good." She was walking slowly towards me, measuring her steps. I know she meant to be reassuring, but it was just freaking me out.

"Hold on. What?" I asked, backing up, and almost tripping before I caught myself. Emmett looked disappointed. Alice seemed to realize the little dance we were doing wasn't helping and she stopped. I did too.

"When Edward first told you about Tanya, you got jealous, right?" she asked, raising her brows. I frowned, and crossed my arms stubbornly. I didn't want to admit to it. She smiled briefly, and continued. "I'll doll you up so you have more confidence when they get here. Which is in a few hours, so let's get going, okay?"

I sighed. It looked like this was the only way I could look half decent in front of the beautiful, smart, _single_ sisters. I think I could finally see how Edward felt whenever we were with Jake or in school and one of my admirers came by. I nodded, and Alice beamed before rushing me upstairs. Let the torture begin.

As Alice played 'Barbie Bella', I kept glancing at the clock. The Denali family was supposed to arrive at nine, and each minute seemed to make me more nervous. Alice kept calling Jasper in to calm me down, and eventually he decided to just stay in the bathroom with us. Emmett was downstairs playing HALO 3 and every once in a while you'd hear him roar "You just got owned!" or "What the crap?" except he didn't say crap. Jasper and Alice probably heard a lot more of it than I did because of their hearing, and I was thankful for once I wasn't a vampire…yet.

As Alice played with my hair, trying to figure out how she wanted it, we went over wedding plans. Of course, when I say 'went over' I mean her babbling on about flowers, food, and dresses. Endlessly dresses. I would just say 'that sounds nice' and 'I trust you on this, Alice' and she chattered on happily. And I _did_ trust her…to make the wedding over the top and cost enough to fund the food and clothing of a small country.

At last, it was over. I'd been plucked, pinched, and stuffed, but the result was quite satisfying. It had taken all Alice's self restraint to 'keep it true to Bella' I was prettier, of course, but it still looked like _me_. I wore a white sundress with a navy blue ribbon that went around my chest. Alice had applied a little makeup, but not enough to drive me crazy. I wore simple black sandals. Knowing Alice this simple outfit cost more than my house, so I didn't ask.

I stood up and stretched. I was stiff from sitting in Alice's hairdresser chair, and my stomach was about to eat itself. I escaped the room I had named 'The Bathroom of Many Horrors' and headed downstairs. Emmett looked up at me from the couch, and smiled.

"You look nice." He said, and I blushed. He chuckled, and turned back to his game.

I walked into the kitchen, ready to scarf the first thing I came in contact with. There was a note on the counter, in Esme's writing. Ignoring my protesting stomach, I picked it up.

_Dear Bella,_ she had written, _I'm sure you will be over before we come home, so I left some meals in the fridge. They can all go in the microwave, and I expect them all to be gone by the time I get home. You skip far too many meals as it is. I hope you enjoy them. Love, Esme._

I smiled at her motherly concern for me before I noticed the darkness on the bottom of the paper. I flipped it over to see a quickly scribbled note.

_Bella_, the note read, in writing I would recognize anywhere; _you don't have to eat all of them, but please don't skip any meals. Esme tends to go a little overboard where her mothering instincts are concerned .Be safe, Danger Magnet. I love you. Edward. _

He was so sweet. I guessed he had written the note behind Esme's back though, so better destroy the evidence. I turned and threw the paper into the trash. Turning towards the fridge, I gasped. Stocked from top to bottom, was food. Small Tupperware containers held sauces. There were several bottles of soda. There was pizza and sandwiches, cakes and veggies, fruit salad and pasta. I was grateful for Edward's note. I couldn't eat half of this if I tried. After standing in front of the fridge for a while, I cautiously removed a container of tomato soup. I was afraid I might cause an avalanche of food, but Esme had stocked it carefully so that another container simply dropped down to fill its place. I removed the lid to the Tupperware container, and was about to put it in the microwave several things happened at once. The doorbell rang out around the house.

Alice's cry of "Emmett, NO!" came from upstairs. Then, the very sky seamed to shatter.

"RRROOOOOAAAAARRRRR!" an explosive sound came from directly behind me.

If my heart ever truly stopped, it was then. I screamed in terror, dropping the container of thick, red soup in fright, right onto the counter in front of me. The container bounced slightly, catapulting its contents all over anything within five feet. Including me.

I stood there in shock, clutching the countertop and listening to my heart restart. It took a while for its normal beat to come back. My hands were shaking and I could feel my eyes were as wide as dinner plates. I shakily turned around to find Emmett rolling on the floor laughing. Alice stood in the door, fuming. Jasper stood beside her, desperately trying to calm her rage. And there, in the doorway to the kitchen, stood an outrageously beautiful vampire with strawberry blonde hair.

**Love it? Hate it? Please leave a review, and I will love you FOREVER! I'm going to reply to my reviewers for as long as I can, so you'll feel appreciated! **

**The songs in this chapter are "Sister Psychic" by Smash mouth, "Material Girl" by Madonna, and "Fabulous" by Sharpay from High School Musical 2. Anyone who likes the songs I bashed, I hope you don't take offence. They're just not my thing. **

**I'll update as soon as I can, I PROMISE!**

**-Gotbooks93 (September 13, 2008) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

**Hi Guys. So much for "I will update as soon as I can, I promise!"**

**Pshaw. Yeah right.**

**One and a half years later, I'm updating. To be honest, I'm not a fan of authors who make a bunch of excuses for long absences. Life got in the way, and I'm sorry for being gone so long. With any luck, there's still someone reading this. **

**Obviously, this is AU, as Stephenie Meyer decided it would be cool of Bella to go pop out a baby and mess up everyone's formerly cannon plotlines. Ah, well.**

**Disclaimer:**

**I own many things, including a pair of socks with pigs on them. But not the Twilight Saga, as that belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Shame, really.**

**Enjoy!**

**Call Me Bella, Chapter 2.**

**TPOV**

"_Pain, without love, pain, I can't get enough, pain, I like it rough, 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at al-_"

Click.

"_My whole world is changing, I don't know where to turn, I can't leave you baby,but I can't stay and watch the sitting burn, wat-_"

Click.

"_So everybody put your best suit or dress on, let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once, lighting firecrack-_"

Click.

"_Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't messin' wit no broke, broke, get down girl, go 'head get down, get down_"

She was doing it on purpose. If there was one thing Kate knew drove me to madness, it was flipping between radio stations in the middle of a song. As she reached for the button again, I grabbed her hand, squeezed a little tighter than necessary, and forcefully placed her hand back in her lap.

Batting her eyelashes, she pouted. "Tanya, I was only looking for something to something to!"

Trying desperately to suppress a growl, I faced the road again. What was I thinking when I suggested my younger sister accompany me on a day- long trip to Forks? This invitation inevitably lead to Irina, Eleazar, and Carmen insisting they come along. Sure, they all could have made the trip themselves, but it was the thought that counted. Plus, Kate hated driving long distances by herself, and Irina had too much road rage to safely navigate the long drive without 'accidentally' totaling some poor humans car.

Glancing in my rear- view mirror, I checked to make sure Carmen and Eleazar were still behind me on the road. Although there was enough room in the car for both of them to ride with us comfortably, neither me nor my sisters wanted to be subjected to what Irina called "Carmen and Elezar's Love Shack Of Horrors". For some unexplainable reason, long car rides always ended in the two of them in a heavy make out session, murmuring ridiculous endearments between breaths. As a result, Irina demanded they take another car. Of course, our advanced hearing abilities allowed us to hear them fine from the other car, but it was easier to block out the two's multi- lingual pet names when they weren't sitting directly beside you.

Go figure.

As Kanye West rapped about his cheatin' baby momma, Irina spoke up.

"So. What do you think she's gonna be like?"

I fought to maintain my relaxed composure, knowing both of my sisters were watching for a reaction. It was true, I had hoped for a long time (too long, in hindsight) that Edward and I would be together as a couple. Don't get me wrong, I was happy with my life. I had a happy family, and men bowed down before my beauty. I could have my pick of the male human race, and most of the time, I was content to live out my immortal life as it was. But sometimes, when I was hunting alone of observing other couples absolute devotion to each other, a creeping loneliness would wiggle its way past my barriers. For years- decades, if I was being honest- I had harbored hope for Edward.

But no longer.

_I had heard it all: Esme's relieved voice over the phone, her joy of Edward's solitude ending; Alice singing the human girl's praises, even making her less desirable traits seem silly and lovable; and, briefly, Emmett's adoration of his "little sister", filling the long-empty place in their family._

_But none of it had truly hit home until last September. The Cullens had fled their home in Forks, leaving behind the human girl. Isabella. At first, I was relieved. Edward had finally, finally, given up this strange obsession with the human. I had never heard of such devotion to such an unorthodox relationship, and he was his old, rational self again._

_Except, he wasn't._

_As the Cullens drove down our driveway in Denali, my family and I had gathered to greet our extended family. One by one, the doors to their various vehicles had popped open. I should have known by the look on their faces something was not right. _

_My kind were legendary for their graceful movements, it was one thing even the humans picked up on occasion. Even bulky Emmett moved like a dancer, despite his size. But as Edward exited Carlisle's BMW, his movements were jerky, irregular. As if he had to directly order specific muscles to move, one at a time. _

_In the following weeks, it got no better. Edward stayed in his guest room for days upon days. He would simply sit at a chair by the window, staring uncomprehendingly out into the wilderness that surrounded my home. The entire household was edgy, walking on eggshells. Alice eventually explained the situation once we were off hunting. Unsurprisingly, not one of us could rouse him; Not Kate, cracking jokes, nor Irina, trying to beach his mental barriers with a discussion about music. Not Eleazar. Not Carmen. Not even me._

_Before long, the Cullens decided to move on, Edward moving in the same robotic manner. Months later, we were informed of their reunion with Isabella, and even I sighed with relief. Carlisle had made the call, and his words struck me stronger than any blow he could deliver. _

_"Tanya, we left a member of the family behind. As surely as if we had abandoned Jasper or Esme or Rose, I allowed myself to leave one of my children behind to defend herself. Never, ever again will I repeat that mistake." His tone was somewhat choked, as if holding back the tears he could never shed. _

_It was then that I knew that Edward had found his mate, and I had no place in it._

Snapping myself back to reality, I answered my sister's question. "I don't know, but we're about to find out."

Outside, a cheery green sign declared _Welcome to Forks!_

**BPOV**

_****_Kill.

Me.

Now.

Please.

_****_Soaked from head to toe in tomato soup, I had never felt more human. Or inadequate, for that matter.

In the doorway to the kitchen, stood five unsurprisingly lovely vampires. In the middle of the grouping stood someone who could only be Tanya.

"Isabella Swan, you certainly know how to make a first impression." she said.

And then, she began to laugh.

**Well, there you have it. Chapter two. Love it? Hate it? Let me know. That's what the pretty little "Review Chapter" button is for!**

**The songs in this chapter are (chronologically) **_**Pain**_**, by Three Day's Grace; **_**I'll Try**_**, by Jonatha Brooke; **_**The New Year**_**, by Death Cab for Cutie; **_**Gold Digger**_**, by Kanye West.**

**-Gotbooks93**

**(June 17, 2010)**


	3. Chapter 3

**CMB Chapter 3**

**EmmettPOV **(Because there's entirely too many characters who's names start with an E in this series to abbreviate it.)

Best.

Day.

Ever.

Okay, I'll admit it. It wasn't a nice thing to do, per se. But man, that shiz was _funny_. Of course, I could never execute Operation Scare- The- Living- Daylights- Out- Of- Bella while Mr. I'm Going to be a Virgin for the Rest of My Undead Life was around, so I kept it at the back of my brain for a couple weeks, waiting.

And you know what?

It was totally worth it.

Now let me tell ya, it wasn't easy to keep it from the freaky twins-aka Alice and Edward- but hey, I'm the friggin King of Pranks. I had to strike while virgin- boy was away, but keep the element of surprise until the very last second.

And people think I'm dumb! Trust me, it takes some major brain power to concoct pranks, especially in this family.

But back to the discussion at hand: Best. Day. Ever.

After Tanya started laughing at Bella- who was not only red from that nasty smelling soup, but an even darker magenta underneath from embarrassment- we all just stood around, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And dude, let me tell you, it _dropped_.

"Emmett!" Alice screamed in a tone I was sure only dogs (and the LaPush boys) could hear, "I'm gonna kill you!"

After this, the chase began, with me high tailin' it out of the house, followed by the Demon Pixie... followed by her blonde keeper, who was rather desperately trying to calm her down, to no avail.

The words coming out of that girl's mouth would have put poor Momma Esme back into the morgue, without a doubt. For that reason, I wish to keep them bleeped out, as I consiter myself a family man. However, they go a little somthing like this:

"Emmett you _bleep_ing _bleep_er. When I'm done with you Rose is gonna have to find herself a new mate, 'cause there won't be anything left! You just wait until I get my hands on you you son of a _bleep_! I spent way too much time _bleep_ing fixing Bella up for you to get a _bleep_ing retarded idea in your head to _bleep_ it up!"

And so on, and so forth.

Well, we were half way to California by the time Mr. I'm Not Afraid of My Feelings finally got her to slow down. It was a shame, really, because you know what they say: While Rose is Away, Emmett Likes Himself Some Smokin' Hot Cali Girls. Or something like that.

After an hour or so we started heading back, and the day got even better. Because we did not come back to a soup soaked Bella, a laughing Tanya, or even a battle- ready Chuck Norris.

It was even better.

What we came home to was a mattress race.

**BPOV**

After Emmett, Alice, and Jasper took off, I was all by myself. Well, myself plus five unfamiliar vampires, but who's counting?

Did I mention one of those vampires was currently doubled over in laughter?

Behind Tanya stood two blondes, another contribution to the Denali Succubus Clan. One of them looked bored, and the other looked sympathetic. Both were tall in a way that only Amazons and exotic Eastern Europe models can pull off. From what I'd heard, these three fell into the latter category. Awesome.

But beside Succubi Two and Succubi Three were two brunettes, linked at the hands. The male was medium height, with dark hair and a slightly olive complexion (if you could get past the chalky white pallor). The female shared his dark features, and both looked slightly Spanish in origin. At least, I thought so before I was englufed in a pair of cool, thin arms.

"_Ah, que muchacha pobre_. Please do not mind Tanya, she means no harm. But that boy Emmett? He needs to be put on a leash!" (_Ah, you poor girl_)

I wasn't entirely sure what to do, so I akwardly patted the woman on the back.

"But I am getting ahead of myself, no? I am Carmen, and this is my mate, Eleazar. You must be the beautiful Isabella, yes? The one that finally captured our Edward's lonely heart."

_That_ shut Tanya up, quick. And for the first time, the Bored Blonde smiled. Well, it was more of a smirk, but it was better than nothing.

"Um. Yes. I'm- I'm Bella. It's nice to meet you all!" My voice was slightly strained, and Tanya looked less dissatisfied and more sympathetic with every word.

"_Cariña_, why don't we get you cleaned up? I know you must have looked _muy bonita_ before that gorilla scared you, but the smell of that food is making me want to, how do you say?, vomit." (_Darling_, _very beautiful_)

I nodded dazedly, and let her lead me out of the kitchen. As we passed Elezar, he gave me a small smile, but did not follow. The three blondes stayed behind, as well.

As far as I knew, the Denali coven had never visited the Cullen's home. However, Carmen guided me through the house with ease, even going up to Edward's bathroom instead of one of the guest rooms. I must have had a puzzled look on my face, because she laughed before explaining.

"My dear friend Esme sent me the blueprints of the house several years ago. We have remodeled many homes together, and I'm glad she agreed with some of my color schemes. Edward never was a blue or green kind of boy." She gestured to Edward's gold and black color scheme through the doorway. "But I will let you get yourself cleaned up, and will return with clean clothes. Alice is still _una amante de la ropa_, yes?" (_a lover of clothing_)

I nodded, relying on my limited Spanish vocabulary. Carmen's rich Spanish accent soothed my frazzled nerves, and I smiled timidly. She reminded me a lot of Esme, but bolder. She gave me a quick peck on the forehead and a little nudge towards the shower before she left, closing the door behind her.

I turned around, taking in the familiar decor of the bathroom. The floor was a polished black marble, and the fixtures and bath linens were gold. One could never call Edward inconsistent. Along the back wall was a long glass shower cubicle, large enough to fit three people out of my semi- dry dress and sandals, I tried not to mourn them. For once, Alice had chosen something that was a little more my style, but I knew the tomato soup would stain beyond repair against the white fabric.

I showered quickly, giving myself a pep talk as I stood under the water. _They are not a threat. Edward loves me, and wouldn't want to marry me if he was even a little bit interested in other women. He loves me, and everything will be just fine. Just fine, Bella. Now get your butt out there and stop being such a whimp_.

Toweling off, I peeked my head out of the bathroom door and into Edward's bedroom. I tried not to jump in surprise when I saw Tanya on the black leather sofa, a pile of clothing next to her. But what really had my attention lay in her hands. She had taken a framed picture off the end tables. In the picture was Edward and I, taken the summer after I met him. It was one of the few pictures I allowed him to put up in the house, though I knew he had hundreds more stored away somewhere. In the picture, Edward and I sat on the ground beside each other, the river behind his house in the background. It was taken by Alice, and we were both smiling. But while I smiled at the camera, Edward's head was turned so that he smiled at me.

Tanya looked up in a movement too fast for my eyes, and her smile was sad and a little bit...nervous? "I come bearing gifts, a piece offering, if you will." She stood, handing the clothing beside her to me, and replacing the photograph in one movement. She gave another smile. "He adores you, you know. When the Cullens stayed with us last October he didn't say more than a dozen words, he was so deep in mourning for you."

The moment was broken rather abruptly as one of Tanya's sisters bounded into the room. She came so close to me, I had to fight the urge to step back a step. Bouncing in an Alice- like way, she grinned. "Hi there! I'm Kate, and it is sooooo great to meet you! I must say, when you're not covered in food you smell wonderful!"

Realizing my mouth had fallen open from her perkiness, I snapped it shut, and smiled. This one wasn't forced. She seemed almost abruptly friendly, and unlike her bored sister, I found Kate to be a little less intimidating.

"But hurry and get dressed! We've just found some good inner-springs in the attic, and Eleazar and Carmen are almost done with the polish!" with that, she raced out the door, calling out "Bella's on my team!"

Confused, I couldn't help but ask. "Inner- springs?"

Tanya smiled wickedly. "Welcome to the world of mattress racing."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey Guys!**

**I'll bet you all thought I'd given up! The last chapter was posted in haste, so please excuse the lack of an A/N. **

**Also, I'd like to thank amobutterfly25, ****l3monhea2, Grace, Kelsey, Katlyn, Jmolly, and everyone who favorited this story!**

**I've had a bit of a crazy week, but managed to crank out one more chapte before I leave for a short vacation. Hopefully, I'll update by Wednesday of next week. **

**This chapter was, admittedly, a little stubborn. To be honest, I'm still not completely satisfied with it. Thankfully, I've begun to start the next chapter, which is proving to be much easier to write. In all, I think the story will end within 3 more chapters.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own many things, including a Swifter Duster, a purple bathrobe, and red poka dot shoes. However, I do not own The Twilight Saga, as that belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Call Me Bella, Chapter 4: Mattress Racing and Brown Eyed Girls**

**BPOV**

****I'm pretty sure that when Edward had written for me to stay safe, he wasn't thinking about this.

Teetering at the edge of the grand staircase in the Cullen household, I could only consider this idea briefly before there was a quick shove from behind, and then we were _gone_. Beside me, Kate screamed with joy as the mattress zoomed down the staircase, the bumps of each stair only a minor factor in comparison to the speed. When Kate had mentioned polish, I was clueless. Apparently a part of the race in general included the removal of Esme's beautiful oriental carpeting from the area, followed by a good buffing. The stairs gleamed in the afternoon light.

After discovering that I had truly never had a mattress race, it was unanimously decided I would be given a test ride. And what a ride it was.

Over the next half hour, we raced on the inner- spring mattresses in pairs. Mostly, it was Tanya and Irina against Kate and myself. We won some and lost some, mostly because I was significantly lighter than the vampires on the other team. We switched partners every few runs, and even convinced Carmen and Eleazar to join in once. The whole time, Carmen screamed various words in Spanish, most of which weren't included in my high school Spanish courses. Eleazar's rich laugh bounced off the walls, mixing with the radio music Kate had turned on in the background.

By the time Emmett, Alice, and Jasper had turned up, I was a mess. My cheeks were pink, my hair was a disaster, and my throat hurt from screaming. Emmett, of course, insisted he would "pown" anyone in a race, and quickly faced off against Tanya in a race. By that point, I didn't think anyone was keeping track of wins or losses, not that I minded. The tension of the earlier had disappeared, and I tried not to pause when Tanya suggested we race against Jasper and Alice. Glancing over, I saw Jasper rope his arm around Alice's waist, pulling her to sit between his legs on the mattress. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with longing for Edward, wishing he was here to join in on the fun. Putting on a smile, I agreed to join Tanya.

The afternoon turned to evening, and the mattresses were eventually returned to the attic. Why Kate went in search of them up there to begin with, I didn't have the slightest clue.

**AlicePOV**

If I didn't feel so sorry for her, I would have laughed.

Just as Tanya and Bella flew over the edge of the stairs, I got the familiar feeling of a vision. My second sight resembled a whirlpool. As it began, I could feel myself being gently pulled deeper into the vision, the feeling increasing as it went on.

_In one second, I could see Bella's face, a laugh turning into a frown. Then, the sight of a small, empty cardboard box. The next second, she emerged from one of the house's bathrooms, looking mortified. I caught a whisper of two words in her voice as the vision faded, my sight coming back into startling focus. The three words caused a laugh to bubble up in my chest: _

_"...started my period..."_

Road trip!

**EPOV **(Because I think we've gone entirely too long without some Edward lovin')

I _wasn't _brooding.

Really.

However, this was not where I wanted to be right now. As I ran through the forest beside Carlisle, my mind wandered. Brown eyes, hair the color of milk chocolate. Creamy skin, and a laugh that could put an angle's to shame. My brown eyed girl, my Bella.

What had I been thinking when I agreed to accompany them on a hunting trip? Granted, I hadn't left since we went in June, and had been feeding off of small game (which tasted incredibly unappealing) but it was worth it. For months after our return, it had been near- impossible to stay away from her for an extended period of time. It had gotten somewhat better until the threat of Victoria became undeniable, at which point I was more guarded than ever. It was after Bella accepted my proposal that she began suggesting my hunting habits change. I must say, the idea of some mountain lion in Southern Canada was appealing, but so far, the stress of being away from her made the hunting trip a failure in my eyes.

We had taken Carlisle's BMW to the mountain range, parking it in some shade as we departed. We would be gone for a while.

Esme had shot me sympathetic glances in the following days, as Carlisle chuckled and Rosalie heaved exaggerated sighs. Why we brought her along, I would never know. She was annoying when she had Emmett to balance her vanity out, but on her own she was near impossible to deal with. Sure, she had been marginally nicer to Bella since their heart- to- heart, but she seemed not to understand why it was so difficult for me to leave Bella for more than a few hours.

At least, that was her basic train of thought. Her exact thoughts went along the lines of, _"I swear, it's only two days. Considering how long he's been plaguing the world with his presence, you'd think he'd get used to the idea of time. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure he and Alice have had chess games that last longer than this. Get over yourself! She's just a girl!" _By this point, I was openly glaring. _"Oh, are you listening in, Mr. I Don't Believe In Giving People Mental Privacy? Good, maybe you'll enjoy _this!" This thought was followed by a stream of explicit visual images of herself and Emmett, doing things I would be forever haunted by. Within seconds, I was sprinting in the opposite direction, desperately trying to get away from the downright graphic images.

As a result we split up, with Esme and Rosalie going after a group of elk. Carlisle and I had spent the night alternately talking and hunting, a welcome distraction. It had been a long time since we had wandered around, talking and joking; it reminded me of the days when it was just the two of us, after I had gotten over my newborn mania but before he had found Esme. We used to spend hours just talking about anything that interested us, from religious beliefs to economic trends to medical developments.

This time, we discussed Bella and my upcoming nuptials, a subject that made me ecstatic to even ponder. He recounted his and Esme's initial wedding and subsequent renewal of vows, leaving me in awe of them. Esme and Carlisle had set a wonderful example for all of their children, and I couldn't wait to call Bella mine.

By the second day, I was all but vibrating in place. As Carlisle and I headed north towards our appointed meeting place, I picked up on Esme's stream of thoughts. The tone was languid, as it often was for our kind after a good hunt._ "Hmm, is that Carlisle I smell? Thank goodness Rosalie has finally calmed down. I wonder if Bella has eaten all the food I left her. Maybe I didn't make enough? She's entirely too thin, all this stress can't be good for her. Speaking of size, did I schedule that second fitting for her gown? I need to remember to call the florists and double check the arrangements. Was that a deer we just passed. Ah, but I'm too full as it is. Ah, there they are! Hello, Edward!"_

I chuckled quietly as they came into view, both looking as if they had just stepped out of Dolce and Gabbana after a day of shopping, instead of hunting large game in the middle of a dense forest. Esme smiled, linking arms with Carlisle, and Rosalie wore her trademark bored expression.

"I think it's about time we headed home. With any luck, Edward, we can be back before Bella wakes up." Carlisle began to lead us in the direction of the car.

"Oh, yes, because we wouldn't want Eddie to miss out on his favorite game, Watch the Human Sleep Like a Creepy Stalker." Rosalie murmured under her breath.

Her words barely penetrated my buoyant mood. Within a few hours, I would be home with my brown eyed girl.

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**Gotbooks93**

**(June 23, 2010)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello, my lovely readers!**

**Here is the much anticipated (yeah right!) fifth chapter of our Twilight fanfiction, **_**Call Me Bella**_**. I hope it's up to standards.**

**But there is a change that I hadn't anticipated in this story, for which I hope you'll all forgive me! In the last chapter, I wrote **_**'**__The afternoon turned to evening, and the mattresses were eventually returned to the attic.__'_** However, this chapter runs a few hours before that. It seems they didn't spend as much time mattress racing as we thought. Very sorry if this throws any of you off. **

**As I said before, I imagine this will only run for about three more chapters. Alas, nothing can last forever. **

**Enjoy!**

**CMB Chapter 5: 'Judgment by Vampires and Aunt Flo'**

**BPOV**

As late morning turned to early afternoon, we returned the mattresses to the attic. I sat at the kitchen bar, only paying the book in my hands a vague attention. Carmen was humming as she scrubbed the kitchen, despite my protests and offers to help. Eleazar sat on a clean counter top, his legs swinging as he spoke to her in rapid Spanish. It was interesting to watch the way they interacted. While Carlisle and Esme were calm and cuddly, Jasper and Alice were a study in contrasts. Alice was always bouncing, laughing, moving while Jasper was her calm background, watching and protecting. Where as Rosalie was all high fashion lines and elegant curves, Emmett was her playful counterexample, with his booming voice and childlike demeanor. Despite this, it was obvious Emmett worshiped her every word, thought, and movement. And while Rosalie often displayed frustration with his antics, her adoration for who he was shone through when it counted most.

Carmen and Eleazar's relationship was somewhat different. Yes, Carmen reminded me of Esme with her motherly affection. But she and Eleazar made each other young. If I had to guess, I would put them both in their late twenties or early thirties; they had shed all the angles and lines of adolescence, and were obviously comfortable in their own skin. But their youth was returned to them as they interacted with each other.

Edward had once told me about the mates of vampires. They mated for life, and the separation or death between mates was devastating, and irreplaceable.

_"When a vampire finds its mate, they do not just find a romantic partner. They find a soul mate, a best friend. They find the only person they truly need in life, the moon to their sun, the water to their fire."_

In Carmen and Eleazar all this was obvious, but their true friendship stood out. The physical aspect of their relationship was obvious as Eleazar would touch her shoulder, back, and arm as she passed. But the way they talked brought out their friendship. It was playful, but not meaningless. True, I couldn't pick up more than a few words as they rang like exotic lyrics, but the atmosphere of the conversation was comfortable.

I was pulled from my musing as nature called. Quietly slipping out of the room, I headed for the first- floor bathroom, which was located just off the living room. Emmett was seated on the floor as he played yet another violent video game. _Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare_ was the title of the open case on the coffee table. Kate and Alice were gathered around Alice's laptop, shopping online. Tanya and Irina sat on one of the white couches, flipping through Rosalie's latest copies of _Vogue _and _Elle_ as Jasper sprawled across the other couch, reading _War and Peace_. All in all, rather normal. As I passed, Alice looked up and smiled a little too big, as if she was in on a secret. Actually, she probably was, but when _wasn't _she?

Five minutes later, I was no longer trying to ignore her. Between the stress of a newborn army, Jacob issues, and planning a wedding, my monthly cycle had gotten irregular. _Apparently, Aunt Flo had decided I had enough of a break, _I thought as I rummaged under the bathroom cabinet. _Joy_.

But there was only an empty box of tampons. Hurrying up to Edward's bathroom, I desperately checked there, too. Nothing. Months ago, I had stuck a few just-in-case supplies under there, but they had all gotten used up. What now?

As I emerged from the bathroom, I was ready to call for Alice. Of course, she was already there, along with Carmen, Tanya, and Kate. Alice was snickering, Kate and Tanya looked dumbfounded, and Carmen looked sympathetic. What was it with these girls and sympathy?

I briefly contemplated requesting a private audience with Alice, but decided it would ultimately be useless. We'd have to run out a mile or two to get any privacy. Besides, they must already know something was up to already be here, right?

Trying to keep the mortification out of my voice, I said the sentence that no human female ever wants to say: "I started my period, and I don't have any tampons."

**TPOV**

****I had never been so grateful to be a vampire.

After getting control of my seemingly uncontrollable laughter (via Carmen) I made a decision. Originally, I had planned the trip as a judgment. To see if the imperfectly perfect Isabella Swan was good enough for the man I had desired  
for decades. To see if she was sugar, spice, and everything nice as the Cullens had preached. Sure, I had give up the plan to fill the opening myself. But that didn't mean I couldn't judge if she was worthy of the place, either.

But seeing an eighteen year old girl, covered in tomato soup, and on the verge of tears, I had been forced to change my game plan. I was not the person to make judgment. I was far from perfect, and if this was the girl Edward had chosen, so be it.

However, that didn't mean I didn't plan to pick her brain a little.

It was only when Isabella poked her head out of the bathroom that I realized what was about to happen. I decided not to say anything about the faint smell she emanated, choosing to comment on the clothing and picture in my hands instead. Seeing the photographic evidence of Edward's adore only made me more determined to find out what was so special about her.

Kate's subtle comment about Isabella's scent showed me she smelled the upcoming change, too. It wasn't until after the mattress races that it was brought to her own attention. As we sat around the living room, I listened to Alice and Kate quietly discuss the matter.

"Don't you notice?" asked my sister, her tone caught somewhere between horror and fascination.

"We used to notice it a lot more, but over the months it kind of just blends in. I doubt I would have given it more than a passing thought if I hadn't 'seen' her run out of... supplies. "She responded in a quiet voice.

I turned to Jasper, my eye brows raised. He looked up only briefly, smirking. Next to me, Irina only cocked her head ever so slightly, listening to his response.

"It's not _too_ hard to resist," he drawled in his Texan accent, "from what I understand, it's similar to spoiled milk for humans. Technically, I could be tempted to drink. But why would I _want _to?"

Alice and Kate childishly made a long _ewwwwwwwwwwww _sound while Irina smirked and went back to her magazine. The faint smell of 'spoiled' blood wafted around the corner, just as Isabella hurried out of the bathroom, rushing up the stairs without saying anything. After attempting to go up the stairs two at a time, nearly falling, and regaining her balance, she slowed her pace.

Carmen wandered out of the kitchen, Eleazar trailing behind. Emmett tempted him into playing his video game, leaving Carmen to ask where Isabella was. Alice quickly explained, adding "She's going to kill me for telling everyone, but I thought you should know about the situation." with a grin.

She rushed up the stairs, Kate and Carmen trailing behind her. I stood to follow, turning to see if Irina was coming too.

She smirked. "If you seriously expect me to accompany you to see the human suffer over her menstrual cycle, you do not know me at all." she turned back to her magazine with a sniff.

Okay then. Party pooper.

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**Much Love,**

**Gotbooks93**


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